Being One with God
I have been working on the concept of being one with God, feeling the freedom of the Holy Spirit so I can be more like Jesus while I let God the Father hold me and tell me, “You are my beloved son.” By feeling this love, I can then pass on this love to others.
Recently, in prayer group, we read Chapter 9 “We Are One Man” from Thomas Merton’s New Seeds of Contemplation. He stresses the importance of being there for each other and “empty himself and give himself to other people in the purity of a selfless love.”
A central theme in this chapter is being one with God and he concludes, “Our joy and our life are destined to be nothing but a participation in the Life that is Theirs. In Them (the Holy Trinity) we will one day live entirely in God and in one another as the Persons of God live in One another.”
As I meditated on this reading, I found myself thinking back to Chapter 17 in my book, Finding God Again and Again, and I thought I would share an excerpt of that chapter with you.
It was October 2012 and I had just discovered I had a monoclonal protein that was suggesting the possibility of multiple myeloma. As if having had a testicular cancer in the past was not enough, I found myself wondering about death and dying as I contemplated a new cancer diagnosis. My wife was attending an educational conference at a resort in upper Michigan, and I tagged along since I had some time off. This gave me an opportunity for much reading, meditation, and prayer.
“ … The next day after checking in and Anne went to her conference, I sat on the deck by the family room, overlooking the 18th hole and listening to Native American flute music from my iPhone. The gentle wind blew through the leaves and the breeze turned cool later in the afternoon. I soon had to wear my sweatshirt despite the clear, sunny skies. It was late August in upper Michigan, and it felt like the fall season was upon us. My gaze became fixed on the trees, and I appreciated the mixture of shaded and bright green leaves. The wind blew them in undulating waves as if they sang a song of comfort to my heart, and soon I found myself in deep communion with God.
I began to praise God for being such a good Father, for taking such good care of us. I felt our blessed mother and St. Joseph being there with me. I thanked them for being there with me. I prayed to St. Francis to help me be a good servant. All I wanted to do was to take good care of children, help them get better, be a good father and a good husband. I felt joy to be a servant for God, all for God’s glory. I prayed for my grandparents who had passed. I could feel Grandma Murphy being there with me. I also prayed for my father-in-law, for my uncles, aunts, and cousins, and for patients who had also passed away. I prayed for our friend Annette and her dad, I prayed for their peace and for their communion with God.
Very slowly, my mind began to shut down. I became engulfed in the rhythm of the leaves moving back and forth. I then became thoughtless. I was just being, just resting in God… and then this joy, peace and love overcame me. I felt like a poem wanted to burst out of me:
Your arms engulf me,
Your touch is delicate.
Not by the fire that purifies my soul,
But by your warmth, Father,
I realize you are here to console me.
My heart is at peace,
Weightless and without care,
For there are no regrets from yesterday,
Nor worries about tomorrow,
But simply joy in being here with you,
Joy to be here with my brothers and sisters.
As I rest in You
I feel complete.
I am in You,
And You are in me.
As I rested in God’s arms, I felt like Jesus was with me doing his high priestly prayer to God the Father (John 17: 1-26). In the middle of his prayer, I heard Jesus saying,
“… And I have given them the glory you gave me, so that they may be one, as we are one. I in them and you in me, that they may be brought to perfection as one, that the world may know that you sent me, and that you loved them even as you loved me …”
The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit of love all in one as we rested together.
I just rested in God’s arms for some time, feeling love and peace, and not aware of time passing by. But then my mind wanted to get busy:
“Why are you treating me this way? Why are you doing this to me?” I asked God. I felt overwhelmed by this feeling. I was engulfed in this love and wanted to wiggle out.
“I don’t deserve to be treated this way, Lord. I am a sinner with much fault, and You are loving me beyond my understanding.” I did not know how to act. I wanted to move, I wanted my mind to become active, but I felt God tell me to just rest. “Don’t let your mind get busy,” is how I felt. And so, I rested in God again. I let go of my impulse to move away and went back to letting God hold me.”
It is a challenge to give when we are busy with our lives. All the responsibilities from work, home and our children’s extracurricular activities can suck the energy out of us and it feels like we have nothing left. I have found that being mindful in the moment, seeing God in all things and in all people, has helped me take on these challenges and not feel so anxious and exasperated. The pace of life might seem fast, but inside in my heart, I feel peace as I try to see each person as God’s son or daughter just trying to do the best they can and seeing how I can fit in to make their lives easier. We are simply messengers of God, trying to help each other develop in God’s eyes.
References
- New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton. New Directions Books, 2007. Copyright 1961 by the Abbey of Gethsemani, Inc.
Matthew Lloyd
Loved it! 😍
This is an excellent spiritual memoir of someone’s faith journey toward the God of Christianity.
While I would no doubt have issues with someone getting all of their theology from someone’s memoir and journal, I do believe it is helpful for us to consider how we find ourselves in similar situations. I have not had a similar experience with reoccurring cancer like John, but I have had my fair share of religious experiences throughout the years.
John’s writing is captivating and is hard to put down. I sincerely mean that. I had an easy time not only reading these words but digesting them as well. He writes in a way that will keep you turning page after page, and you will find it hard to put this book down. I suppose the one thing that I could complain about is I would have doubled the number of chapters and space everything out a little bit more. It may make it easier for some folks to read that way, but like I mentioned, it is not one that I wanted to put down so I do not think that the number of chapters is something that must be changed to enjoy the book.
While the book spans about two decades of time, the timeline stays fairly well coherent. I am sure that there are some details that have been left out but overall, I feel like I know the story of John Spitzer well enough that I could have a conversation with him about both the health issues that he has faced as well as his faith journey towards knowing God. You can tell from the very outset that there is a culmination building and I am thankful that there is a joyful ending to the work.
You should pick up a copy of this memoir and give it a read. I believe you will find it not only interesting but stirring something in your soul. If you pick it up for no other reason, pick it up because the author quotes Star Wars amongst a book about Jesus.
Book Review by Matthew Lloyd
Reedsy Discovery
Victoria Cessna
Finding God Again and Again by John J. Spitzer, M.D. (Archway Publishing, 2021)
John Spitzer’s deeply personal spiritual memoir, more than 20 years in the making, takes the reader through his early life as a medical student and his three cancer battles and how they sent him in search of God. Raised in the Catholic faith, John regularly prayed and attended Mass; however, it was in confronting his own mortality that he yearned to be closer to God, but he didn’t know how.
His search for God leads him on a path filled with daily prayer, spiritual direction and reading about the lives of the saints. John doesn’t shy away from acknowledging his own spiritual frustrations and most readers will see themselves mirrored in his struggles. Whether wrestling with professional challenges, waning soccer skills or energetic English Setter puppies, John strives to find God in all moments, people and experiences.
“It’s hard to know sometimes how God direct us in life,” writes John. “We often feel like we want to be in control of our lives, and this desire can permeate our prayer lives. We may even get used to a routine and become comfortable with it. It may be difficult to contemplate change, especially if we are not sensitive to what our hearts are telling us – that we need a change. But if we trust God and ask for guidance in this change, then God, in God’s own time, will grant us that favor. And usually, this change moves us closer to God. We just have to be patient and allow God to take control of the wheel.”
In “Finding God Again and Again” John provides an honest account of how elusive God can feel at times but how rewarding it is when we go searching for him in earnest. Readers will gain insight on how to begin their own search as well as inspiration from John’s journey.
Victoria Cessna
Editor-in-Chief, Southwest Michigan Catholic
Executive Director of Communications and Public Affairs
Diocese of Kalamazoo
Marcella Clancy, CSJ
This book could have many titles: The Story of Soul, The Seven Story Mountain, The Confessions of St. Augustine, The Dark Night of the Soul or The Interior Castle. What it shares in common with these books is the sacred story of an individual in search of God. How it differs makes it exquisitely relevant for today. It is not written by a priest, a religious but by a husband, a father, a pediatrician, a person whose life is filled, like most of us, with family and work responsibilities and concerns.
John initiated his writing when, in 1998, he had a relapse of testicular cancer. He, with his wife, Anne, had two young children aged 5 and 2. Death was a real possibility and John wanted to leave his children some knowledge of his life. John did not die but was encouraged to continue writing by a wise spiritual director both as a means of self-discovery and deepening his relationship with God. The reader journals with John over 20 years as he struggles to find God, to follow God’s will, to overcome his faults and flaws, and to integrate into his interior life with God his exterior life of recurring illness, keen disappointments, and the constant demands of family and professional responsibilities. John’s transparency and honesty in relating his pilgrimage to God with its stumbles and falls, warm experiences of God’s love, and continual ups and downs, twists and turns will provide encouragement to anyone who is also on this same journey. John’s journey underscores how one’s movement toward God is never a straight ascent to the heights.
Some of the most significant aspects of the book describe John’s growth in prayer beginning with oral prayers, to more meditative and then contemplative prayer, from 5 minutes of prayer to 15 minutes to an hour to wanting to pray always, yet at times wanting not to pray at all. He identifies resources that have helped him on his prayer journey that also may assist the reader. In Part 2 of the book, John touchingly describes incidents when his prayer with Scripture allowed Jesus to intimately communicate with him. In Ignatian spirituality it is described as “putting oneself in the scene” and John’s retelling of his Scriptural prayer reveals how the Word of God uniquely touches each of us in our particular circumstance and enables us to discover a compassionate God near and caring for us no matter where we find ourselves.
Several times John relates profound moments when “God’s love flows through him” and it may make those who long for such moments envious. Yet, God, as John emphasizes, desires each of us to experience our self as a beloved son or daughter. However, anyone who has attempted to make this journey can testify these moments do not last. We descend from the mountain and find ourselves again seeming distant from God, caught in our own vices, and feeling discouraged. What we learn from John’s writing is that it is always God who takes the initiative and can surprise us at any time. It does not depend on us or what we do.
Having had the privilege of accompanying many others on their own spiritual journey, as I read this book, I often wanted to suggest to John that he foster more compassion toward himself, be kinder and gentler and less condemnatory. Though John acknowledges that any good he may do is always a gift of God at times he is tempted, like all on this journey, to think if he were better, humbler, more dependent on God he could feel God’s love flowing thought him more constantly. Yet the truth is God often seems absent in the holiest of lives. The great spiritual writers tell us that God is never absent but just gone deeper and draws us to travel to that deeper place and abide in Divine Love ever more profoundly. Certainly, John’s writing is a witness to this.
I loved reading this book. It details in the context of an ordinary man’s life, the extraordinary presence and intimate Love of God found, lost, and found again and again. From John’s perspective it is he finding God. From God’s perspective it is the Good Shepherd determined to find the lost sheep over and over again and holding him close to God’s Heart carry him home. Anyone who desires to begin the journey of finding God or who is already on the journey of finding and losing and finding again will find hope, courage, and encouragement to persevere. This book underscores the intimate love of God for each of us and God’s great desire to communicate that love to everyone, absolutely no exceptions.
Submitted by Marcella Clancy, CSJ
Congregation of the Sisters of Saint Joseph
Mindfulness in Adolescents
This is the third part on the topic of Mindfulness after talking about it in infants and in children. See archived issues in September and October respectively, at https://www.johnspitzermd.com/category/pediatric-corner/
Although apps can be useful to teens when they are trying to learn about mindfulness and the techniques to practice mindfulness (Headspace, Calm, Insight Meditation Timer, Smiling Mind, and Stop, Breathe and Think), teens learn best by practicing mindfulness in the moment and as they are relating to others. The daily practice involves being in the moment with friends, family, in a relationship, or in sports competition. At the heart of the activity is the ability to be present in the moment, listen with an open mind, and speak back with kindness, understanding and honesty.
When we begin to practice mindfulness, we become in tune with our bodies: we learn to pair our emotions with how our body feels. During moments of stress, for example, we learn what parts of our body tend to tense up. As we learn to recognize what is going on with our body in a particular moment and practice mindfulness, we learn to control our emotions. From here, we begin to improve our relationships as we learn to listen to others. Interestingly enough, we release dopamine (the “feel-good neurotransmitter”) when we show compassion and kindness to others.
Part of mindfulness involves being in the moment without passing judgment. This frees us from any distractions while we try to absorb the outside and feel what we have in the inside. This allows us to see ourselves as we are, with all our positives and even accepting all our negatives. As we accept ourselves as we are, we become more confident and begin to develop a more positive self-image. Studies have shown that teens who practice mindfulness have less problems with anxiety, depression and have more resilience. In addition, teens that meditate or practice mindfulness concentrate better at school and perform better during the exams.
We can begin this concept of mindfulness at home during dinnertime. The conversation can go in many directions, including some joyful and laughing moments while at other times there may be some stress and tension. In either situation, being able to listen with an open heart and mind while making sure we understand and empathize what the other is saying is key to avoiding raising voices and beginning an argument. We can minimize distractions by putting our phones down and beginning the meal with a moment of silence to be grateful for being together and sharing each other’s company. For some families, this may take the form of a prayer.
It is important that teens understand why this is important. I found Sara Raymond’s YouTube video from the Mindful Movement a good introduction to mindfulness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psyExnCkcXU
I also found an easy read for teens the book by pediatrician Dzung X. Vo, MD: The Mindful Teen.
Let’s empower our teens to be free and resilient!
Humility and Faith
The themes of pride and humility pop up in my life frequently. It seems to me that this is one the major things I’m supposed to work out in my life here on earth. Once more, I come face to face with these topics this week. I have been re-reading Thomas Merton’s New Seeds of Contemplation1, thinking about and contemplating Chapter 7.
Talking about Union and Division in this chapter, Thomas Merton is weaving in the themes of pride and humility. He spends a good deal of time in this chapter talking about how man chooses to do things on his own and not work with others as he senses competition with others, and compares himself with others to see if he is better or not.
As I contemplate this chapter, I find myself in Galilee following Jesus and his teachings. He has gone up to the mountain sides and has had the sermon of the mount in Matthew 5. In Matthew 6, Jesus talks about giving to the needy, praying the Our Father, fasting and appearances, and not to have anxiety about clothing and food. In Matthew 7, he talks about not judging others, the narrow gate, true and false prophets and disciples. And then Jesus comes down from the mountain side and heads back into Capernaum (Matthew 8)
Capernaum was a fishing village established during the time of the Hasmoneans, located on the northern shore of the Sea of Galilee. The Hasmoneans were a dynasty of Jewish kings that fought to liberate Judea from Seleucid rule and created an independent state. The family’s name was apparently derived from an unknown ancestor named Ḥashmonay. Capernaum had a population of about 15002. We now come to the passage on Matthew 8:5 where Jesus heals the centurion’s servant.
The Faith of the Centurion (Matthew 8:5-13)3
5 When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. 6 “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed, suffering terribly.”
7 Jesus said to him, “Shall I come and heal him?”
8 The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. 9 For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”
10 When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. 11 I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. 12 But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”
13 Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that moment.
In the Roman world, the centurion had a very important position. He was an officer in the Roman army whose experience and valor were crucial in maintaining order on the battlefield and ensuring that the Roman’s empire military successes continued over time. A centurion commanded a unit of around 100 soldiers but was also responsible for administrative duties, such as assigning duties and giving out punishments. Centurions had the ability to advance in administrative responsibilities, but the name centurion would be remembered for the veteran who led by the courageous example on the battlefield.4
In the words of Polybius5 (a Greek historian of the Hellenistic period, noted for his work The Histories, which covered the period of 264–146 BC and wrote on the rise of Rome to prominence), “the centurion must not be a venturesome seeker after danger but as men who can command, steady in action, and reliable; they ought not to be over-anxious to rush into fight, but when hard-pressed, they must be ready to hold their ground, and die at their posts.”
With such a prominence in the Roman world, the story is about this very important person being humble before Jesus. This sits in contrast to the points that Thomas Merton makes in his chapter: man not wanting to be in union with other men finds himself in a state of division, wanting to be separate and distinct. Afraid to be challenged by others and be in a world that is forever becoming more competitive, man wants to go at it alone. This division is fueled by spiritual pride, and “is most dangerous when it succeeds in looking like humility. When a proud man thinks he is humble, his case is hopeless.”
So Thomas Merton asks us to set our pride aside, come together in union with other people which will become a means for finding ourselves: “I must look for my identity, somehow, not only in God, but in other men. I will never be able to find myself if I isolate myself from the rest of mankind as if I were a different kind of being.”
Coming together as children of God, acknowledging that we are one with Jesus and accepting in the bottom of our heart that we are made for each other, helps us discover ourselves as we are made of the same fabric: made from the Spirit of God. Keeping this faith helps bind us together.
As Pope Benedict XVI explains in Benedictus, Day by Day6: “… God is no longer the distant and indeterminate God to whom no bridge will reach, he is the God at hand. The body of the Son is the bridge for our souls. Through him, each single person’s relationship with God has been blended together in his one relationship with God so that turning one’s gaze toward God is no longer a matter of turning one’s gaze away from others and from the world but in uniting of our gaze and of our being in the single gaze and of the one being of the Son … [the Kingdom of God] will be complete when the son hands to the father his kingdom, that is, in-gathered humanity and the creation that is carried with them. That is why the purely private existence isolated self no longer exists but all that is mine is yours.”
As I celebrate Advent and move closer to Christmas Day, I pray for our humanity that we can set pride aside, find humility in the bottom of our hearts and come together as brothers and sisters, children of God and sharers of the one and same Holy Spirit!
References
- New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton, New Directions Books, 2007 Edition.
- https://www.bibleplaces.com/capernaum/
- https://www.biblegateway.com/ and New International Version (NIV).
- https://www.worldhistory.org/Centurion/
- https://www.britannica.com/biography/Polybius
- Benedictus, Day by Day, Pope Benedictus XVI, Magnificat & Ignatius Press, October 2006.
Thanksgiving for Picky Eaters
Thanksgiving can be a fun time for family get-togethers. However, sometimes life can be challenging when trying to prepare a meal plan for your picky eater.
Here are some tips to improve your chances that your child will have a good meal experience:
Engage your child in meal planning. Some pointed questions like, “what veggie would you like with your dinner?” “What do you think about a fruit with your meal?” “What do you think about eating turkey for dinner?” can empower them to help us with the menu, especially if we look up together some recipes. Then, they are more likely to look forward to the event and eat a balanced meal. Here are some samples of food groups from the American Academy of Pediatrics https://www.healthychildren.org
Use food bridges or like foods to expand their repertoire of healthy foods. For Example, if he likes mashed potatoes, try sweet potatoes.
Choose at least one food you know your child will like. In that way, she is guaranteed to eat something nutritious at meal time.
Make it look, smell, and taste delicious. What do you think about becoming an artist for thanksgiving? Enhance the look and smell of a dish with special ingredients (for example cinnamon on cooked apples or nutmeg on peaches.
Keep the mealtime relaxing and enjoyable. After all, this is time for family and friends to come together, feel thankful and enjoy each other’s company.
To learn more about fussy eaters, follow this link:
References:
Types of Prayer
There are times when I feel swept up by a passage in the bible, and I then place myself in the bible scene in the form of Ignatian spirituality and prayer.
It was the end of February and the winter in Michigan was growing long. Snow blowing and shoveling snow on a regular basis, sometimes early in the morning around 5 am and then again in the evening, was making me physically tired. Work was demanding and taking care of 2-month-old puppies had become stressful. Having little time to take care of myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually was becoming a challenge. I was craving me-time and it was not happening. I had been praying to God, seeking peace, and asking for strength to help me get through the days, but I could tell that God was letting me stay in this state until I could figure it out, but it just wasn’t happening.
Then one morning around 5:15 am I woke up to Henry’s whining, our boy dog. All was dark in the house, and I made my way down the stairs to get their collars, grumbling in my heart on why I had to do this and lamenting that I could not sleep longer. As I knelt to Henry’s crate and opened the door, he pushed through and into my chest as I put his collar around him, wagging his tail and licking me. I then found myself near Tyre and Sidon in the middle of the day, the sun was bearing down on the dirt roads, people were staying in the shade either by trees or by their houses, and the chickens were picking at the ground looking for food. Jesus and his disciples had withdrawn to this area after rebuking the Pharisees for clinging to their traditions and elevating these above mercy and love. Confrontations were becoming more frequent for Jesus but the time for his crucifixion was not to take place yet, so he needed to withdraw from Israel to this Gentile land.
Tyre and Sidon were 2 Phoenician cities along the coast of the Mediterranean and still present today in modern day Lebanon; Tyre was about 20 miles south of Sidon and about 12 miles from the current-day Israel and Lebanon border. This area was known as the land of Canaan and was dominant up to the years 1250c – 1150 c. BC1 when it is believed a major catastrophe took place, possibly military, that resulted in the dissolution of their land and culture. The bible has this time in history as the invasion by Hebrew General Joshua and the Israelites2. Tyre and Sidon prospered because of their seaports and trade centers. The Canaanites were polytheistic and were considered corrupt and pagan by Israel standards, a threat to Israel’s monotheistic religion and relationship with God. With time, the Canaanites military weakened and became inferior to the Israelites. With this backdrop, I saw the Canaanite woman approach Jesus, crying out to Him, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession.” (Matthew 15:21-28). Mark also recounts this story and places Jesus in a house that he had chosen to have his disciples rest (Mark 7:24-30). The woman is well aware of the rivalry between the Jewish and the Canaanites, and acknowledges Jesus’ superior standing as a Jew, but also is willing to acknowledge him as the Messiah since she called him the “Son of David.” Jesus does not address her initially, and only after the disciples urge Him to send her away, he replies, “I was only sent to the lost sheep of Israel.”
The woman, after initially crying out to Jesus for mercy, knelt near Jesus and said, “Lord, help me!” He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs.”
But in her inferiority and humility, she had acquiesced to the role of a dog while acknowledging Jesus as her master. “Yes, Lord” she said, “but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” Because of her faith, Jesus healed her daughter.
While I was holding Henry in my chest and then proceeded to get Margaret’s collar on (our girl dog), I acknowledged that the winter had become long and difficult. It had become difficult trying to be loving and charitable on my own terms, forcing this desire while at the same time having the desire to have my own “me time.” I acknowledged that I had not let God in to help me with this dilemma because I wanted to do it in my own terms. The load became heavy enough that I finally found myself praying to God, “Lord, have mercy on me, I am one the dogs right now and I could eat whatever crumb you let fall from your table.”
At that moment, I felt like humility settled in and I was now ready to accept God’s healing. As we went down the sidewalk with snowbanks on either side, I contemplated the dark cloudless sky full of stars. I was in awe that the universe could be so big and so beautiful, and God had created this. In that silent walk I felt so engulfed by God. My heart felt warm even though it was cold at 15 degrees and steam was coming from my breath. As the dogs searched for a spot to potty on the snow, I continued to feel God in that beautiful sky, just letting myself drift into the vast space of the universe. Peace settled into my heart and for that moment, as Margaret and Henry locked their eyes on me and I looked at them, I experienced a deep sense of love from them, and in return, I felt love for them too. We stood looking at each other for what seemed to be minutes but were probably just a few seconds. No words were exchanged, just simply looks. The cold air began to seep through my coat, and we had to make it back into the house. It was an intense moment, a moment that I was able to bask in that morning but, interesting enough, I forgot the moment in its intensity once I got busy again with life’s routines and schedules.
As I went through March, I could remember the moment but could not reproduce its intensity like that morning in February. I longed for that moment of love and peace, but I could not reproduce it. It reminded me of Peter trying to build three tents for Jesus, Moses, and Elijah when Jesus underwent the transfiguration. The moment was so intense, so full of love and peace, that he wanted to keep it for himself by building those three tents while they were up in the mountain, but Jesus did not want him to freeze-frame it. As I thought of Peter, I came to realize that Jesus wanted me to understand that these experiences were eternal without a beginning or an end, and although I wanted to keep it for myself, my faculties would not allow me to remember the intensity of it. I have come to believe that this moment was an infusion of love by God.
This excerpt is taken from Chapter 19 of my recently published book, Finding God Again and Again. It highlights the style of prayer in Ignatian Spirituality as “placing oneself in the scene” as I pray in a passage of the bible and let the Word come to me with its message and healing. Placing myself in the scene, I use all my senses as I meditate on the passage: what I see, hear, feel and maybe even taste, if necessary. In this particular, winter story, the prayer happened spontaneously at 5:15 in the morning as I had read this bible story before and was able to recall the facts. But at that moment, I was ready spiritually to let the Word “come to me.” Sometimes I find myself trying to force prayer, even to the point of wanting my will to supersede God’s will. It is only in humility and with patience that I can let God come into my heart.
Depending on the busyness of my day, I go from mental prayer (perhaps saying a few petitions or reciting some prayers) to meditative prayer (as above) to contemplative prayer, where I let God and the Holy Spirit take me where it wills, and as Jesus says, “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” (John 3:8)
Lately, I have been reading about Thomas Keating and Centering Prayer. This style of prayer has a monastic Christian love mysticism where I let God into my heart while I turn off my mind. You could say that this is another form of contemplative prayer, and the key part is learning how to turn off the mind. Certainly, a challenge for me but I continue to work on this.
I originally posted this article as a guest writer in Dr. Matthew Welsh’s website, https://www.spiritualmediablog.com/
Resources
- Byers, Gary. The Biblical Cities of Tyre and Sidon, Associates for Biblical Research, created January 26, 2010. Retrieved from https://www.biblearcheology.org
- Mark, Joshua. Ancient History Encyclopedia, last modified October 23, 2018. Retrieved from http://www.ancient.eu/canaan/
Mindfulness in Children
By 5 years of age, most children are heading into kindergarten having learned to polish learning some life skills: getting dressed, taking baths, washing hands, learning how to write, riding a bike and so on. As it turns out, it is possible to begin to teach mindfulness in children and some meditation.
It is a good idea to instill this concept as a daily habit rather than using it during times of stress. Practice is key to becoming more proficient, and can be incorporated into daily routines or activities, such as when playing outside, drawing or painting, and when doing bedtime reading. Help children feel new feelings and sensations, even if the moment may seem neutral at the time. It’s amazing how easily pleasantness can pop up after a few minutes.
Children like to copy parents so it’s a clever idea for parents to be role models for them. Practice mindfulness yourself in front of them and with them. It’s possible that at the beginning, while you are seated in a relaxed position, maybe even in a yoga pose with your eyes closed, your child may not know what you are doing (there may be even some laughing and giggling) but will be curious and learn from there.
As kids grow older, life becomes more challenging as they begin to experience the loss of control and have set backs. They may even find adversity in the school playground or classroom. It is easy to lose grip of the moment to the point that it threatens the sense of self. It is at this point that kids begin to question their worth and their strength. A simple exercise to incorporate into the practice of mindfulness is with the mnemonic RAIN (The New York Times, 2017):
- R (Recognize): Acknowledge the moment in a calm, accepting manner
- A (Accept): Allow the moment to be what it is without changing it right away
- I (Investigate): Be in touch with your feelings and see how you feel
- N (Non-Identification): Realize the sensations and feelings will soon pass and do not define you.
Here are some phone apps that can be helpful to kids (from iPhone Magazine and Psychology Today). You may need to be involved initially to help them explore the app:
- Smiling Mind (www.smilingmind.com.au). Produced by non-profit organization in Australia, a good beginner’s tool to help children develop awareness of how their body feels.
- Breathe, Think, Do with Sesame (www.sesamestreetincommunities.org). Good for young kids to learn the concept of calming down through breathing.
- Headspace (www.headspace.com/kids). Uses cartoons to teach how meditation works. It has a lot of guided meditations in different areas, even incorporating sports and health. Focuses on calm, kindness and bedtime. Can be customized to children < 5 years, 6 to 8, 9 to 12, and adult version.
- Calm (www.calm.com). Helps children relax and restore themselves after a full day of running around. Has sounds like ocean waves and wind that kids may like to listen to. It has sleep stories to read to kids to help them relax and sleep better.
- Three Good Things (www.threegoodthingsaday.com). This app is actually a journal that helps children focus on the positive of life by writing 3 good things that went well that day, and therefore practicing gratitude.
As kids grow into their pre-teen and teenage years, it will become important for them to understand that either good or adverse moments, bringing either happiness or sadness/frustration/anger, do not define them. By practicing mindfulness and meditation, they can go deeper into who they are and what they want in life. Tune in for the next article on Mindfulness for Teenagers!
Mindfulness and Your Infants
Our lives are frequently challenged with work and other external pressures that often make it hard to parent. Sometimes we find ourselves trying to parent but are not in the moment, we are stressed or preoccupied. It is not much different with children and teens, although their stressors may seem trivial to us. Starting with this post, I’ll try to cover the practice of mindfulness over the next 3 editions (mindfulness in infants, children, and teens) and hopefully you’ll find these tips helpful for you and your children.
The concept of mindfulness is a technique that helps us pay attention to the current moment with an accepting, gentle and non-judgmental attitude. This practice helps develop compassion, curiosity, focus and empathy, thereby relieving stress, minimizing anxiety and promoting happiness.
Our frontal lobes act as the Executive Office in our decision making and conscious behavior. The area behind these lobes, the pre-frontal cortex area, oversees focus, paying attention and cognitive control. This area develops quickly in our infancy and childhood years and is involved ultimately in the development of skills such as self-regulation, focus, judgement, and patience. As parents, we are instrumental in the development of mindfulness in our children. In fact, the best way to teach them this skill is by modeling it ourselves.
It is possible to begin to instill this concept with our infants, even right after birth. Newborns and infants can feel our bodies when we are holding them. Feeling relaxed, we can impart this feeling to them and help them relax as well. Being in the moment implies putting away our distractions, including electronics, no matter what is happening. While holding the baby quietly, we can make eye contact in a gentle and loving manner. Being in the moment, totally dedicated to them during the feedings, can allow the infants to bond with us in a relaxed and mindful way. They will actually start to copy our behavior.
When your infant becomes upset or cries, try to not let him or her make you agitated and anxious. You will end up tensing up your body. Instead, remain calm, maybe take some deep breaths, and remember that you are always in control. It is important that you feel confident in yourself. Acknowledge to yourself what is going on and think calmly how you are going to solve the problem. With time, it will become important for you to acknowledge that you can soothe your infant.
Finally, incorporate thankfulness into the moment. After all, how special is it that you are here with your infant? Feeling their breathing, the warmth of their body, and the wiggles of their legs on your chest and belly will help you feel thankful that you have brought this little creature into the world. It then becomes easy to feel that our lives are better because of our child.
